Saturday, August 10, 2013

The Sharpest Blade - by Megan Haskins

“The Word of God is the sharpest blade, better than what any man has ever made. When the battle rages I can overcome with the Word of God on the tip of my tongue.”

This is the chorus that is sung over, and over, and over, and over, and over again in the morning and evening chapels this summer. It has become habitual to run up to the stage to lead motions to this song time and time again, until this week…Thursday night of Teen #3 camp.

There are large “giants” in my life that I battle almost hourly. I am constantly being told lies…that I am not good enough…that I am not pretty enough…skinny enough…smart enough…or the most common one, which is that I ate too much. Craig and I had just gotten back from a date night out where we classically indulged in good Mexican food, followed by a special treat – my favorite – a peanut butter Oreo milkshake! I returned back to camp only to find myself feeling miserable, giving into the lies that I was being fed. My thoughts spiraled downward to the point of feeling inadequate as a head counselor, on program staff, and a leader to my girls. I wanted to go back to my trailer and curl up…until I heard my name over the walkie-talkie. I had just been told (very last minute) that I would be sharing my testimony in chapel that night! I felt unprepared and ESPECIALLY inadequate at this point. How could I share my story and give all the glory to God during an extremely weak moment? But then I thought of King David and how God used him despite his downfalls.

Then the music video began, and I almost had to drag myself up there to lead motions.

“The Word of God is the sharpest blade, better than what any man has ever made. When the battle rages I can overcome with the Word of God on the tip of my tongue.”

I almost had to walk out the front side door during the song, for I was so convicted. Who knew that God could use this children’s song (with cheesy motions included) to tap at my heart? I needed to run to Scripture and I needed it badly. My mind was instantly flooded with verses I knew, such as Psalm 139:13-15, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” And Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

God used this song to prepare me for my testimony. Every word I spoke was NOT from me. I relied heavily on the recent Scripture that had come to mind to express God’s grace and goodness. I was able to be vulnerable and transparent even though I felt weak and frail.

The Word of God IS the sharpest blade and I need to use it as a crutch, as my safety, and as my weapon for defense against destructive thoughts. I am reminded of my inner beauty and my outward service towards others and God, as well as my adequacy here at Camp Gilead as program staff. God has and can use me through my weakest moments, such as sharing my testimony while personally being under attack.
Megan Haskins
Girls Head Counselor


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