Hey everyone! My name's Toni, and I'm the counselor of cabin 3 here a Camp G. Anyways I'm just going to tell you about an experience I had last Thursday afternoon.
After dinner Tuesday evening I stopped by Kimberly's office to check my mailbox. In my box was a slip of paper that said,You're telling your testimony in Chapel Thursday night! I had been scheduled to share in two weeks, so I was a little confused. Later that day a staff member explained to me that one of the highschool staff wasn't able to speak, so she had been replaced with me. I didn't let myself stress out about it...in fact I hardly thought about it until Thursday morning when I remembered I still needed to write out my testimony.
As soon as my hour off came I grabbed my Bible, journal, pen, and headed to my one-on-one with the girls' head counselor, Megan. For the next forty-five minutes we sat in the grass just past the entrance to the camp. By the end of that time all I had was a few bullet points scribbled on a piece of paper. Side note: Speeches, standing in front of crowds, and microphones really aren't my thing. I was so unprepared, and being unprepared in front of a lot of people is one of the most terrifying things ever! Just laying on the ground my throat started to do that thing where it gets dry and scratchy just before I start to cry. I could tell my eyes were filling with water. I hate crying. It makes me feel weak - it makes me feel vulnerable, so I tried to suck down the tears.
Sitting there for a few seconds fighting with myself trying not to cry I finally just let it go (I know that sounds sappy, but try to bear with me). I didn't want to cry in front of anyone, but I knew that Megan was here because she wanted to help. She is the best person I could choose to be vulnerable with. I know that she's here to see me through the scary times, so I chose to be truthful about how terrified (notice the word terrified) I really was. At first I felt dumb, but I don't think God wanted me keep all my fears bottled up to suffer alone.
So, I'm not really sure what it is I'm trying to say by telling you this story. Maybe just that it's so great to know there's a friend I can be vulnerable with. And at Camp there's so much constantly going on that I got to have those five minutes where I can say, I'm freaking out right now please pray for me! It's unhealthy for me to keep it all inside. I have trouble being completely open, but it's awesome when I find a friend who I know is there to pray and bring me cookies after Chapel when I'm finished telling my testimony.
Counselor - Cabin 3